Ranting. Raving.

Here's some for you:

• I walk around the house barefoot. Sometimes at night, if I need to get something out of my car, I'm too lazy to put my sandals on and I just try to rough it out to the driveway. I'm wincing the whole time because I'm stepping on fallen walnuts or pecans or something. Why can't I just put my freakin' sandals on? Stupid.

• Are there any Republican Senators who aren't jonesing for their next Gay Bathroom Sex event? Sheeeeez, guys. Ease up on the soliciting gay sex in public. Could be good for your career. I dunno. I'm not a campaign manager or anything.
  

• I got a Metro PCS phone yesterday. T-Mobile thinks they can send me a $300 bill, hold my service hostage until it's paid, and keep me as a customer? Uh, c-c-c-can-I-please-give-you-all-my-money-pleaseNOOOOOOOO. NO, I will not give you all my money, T-Hobile. Even as you employ the trophy wife of an aging successor to the Cryptkeeper's Throne for your spokesbroad, I can still resist your siren song.

Oh yes. I can resist your siren song.

• I need to start eating breakfast.

• Hey parents - when your kid is swinging on the playground and you spend 5 minutes yelling at him to "come on right now" and he ignores you as you grow increasingly angrier and louder, then repeatedly tells you "one more minute!"...you can go ahead and clock out. Why not see if you can pay the daycare a few extra bucks a day to just, you know, just keep him there for the evenings. Maybe, maybe let him sleep there. Yeah. Then you won't have to yell at him on the playground when he decides that he's the parent and you're the kid.

People. Please stop fostering a generation of insolent brats just because you're too milquetoast to parent your kid. If you want to indulge a child's every passing whim by abdicating your intelligence and maturity, couldn't you do it with your nephew or something? Go be a pushover Uncle; at least then, somebody else can take the kid home to a place where they're actually children and are not trained to be adult-impersonating circus monkeys because there aren't any real grown-ups around to give them any guidance or structure.

I feel sorry for these brats. How bad must it suck as a small child to know that you're in control of your parents? How frightening must it be for a child to be sitting alone in his room, five years old, suddenly realizing that he can't trust the adults in his life to be the adults in his life?

Realizing he has to be his own dad?

That's heavy. I'm freaking myself out here.