Woodburning

This ship has sailed.

noreply@blogger.com (b) — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 19:48:00 +0000

Woodburning is hereby inactive / on indefinite hiatus / not doing anything. I hesitate to say "disbanding" or "broken up" because there isn't much to disband or break up, nor is there any hostility between my good pal Jake and I.

We don't plan to renew this site's hosting once it expires, but until then, the previous posts can serve as a quasi-archive for anybody who'd like to poke around.

Jake is hereby publicly and perpetually invited to participate in any musical ventures I may or may not pursue in the future.

Thank you!

-Brian

"Deutschmarks for everyone!"

noreply@blogger.com (b) — Mon, 12 May 2008 14:12:00 +0000

Here is one of the few extant photos of myself with Josh Mermelstein, looking like a pair of dandies.

One particular evening in 2001, we were in the apartment above my parents' garage. As is my long-time habit, I attempted to force him and the other people there to "play" music. Having met Josh not too long before then, I was delighted to see how enthusiastic he was about fooling around with my ragtag collection of instruments.

Since I like running tape no matter how things sound, we ended up capturing the on-the-spot creation of a fictional psychobilly band called "Happy Texas Joe," featuring Josh on guitar and vocals and yours truly on the World's Most Decrepit Drumkit.

I think this marked the first time Josh ever picked up a guitar, so his playing is understandably minimalist. Also, I am not a drummer, but as a million punk bands will attest, enthusiasm for the material can outweigh a lack of ability to play it.

I present to you my favorite song from that evening: "She Left Me."

"Rice and Why I Like It": An Exposition by Jake Schwab

noreply@blogger.com (b) — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 19:36:00 +0000

With all this talk in the news about food shortages and price hikes, I thought it only appropriate to twist the subject around to suit our self-serving, blog-centric purposes.

Cast your minds back to the show we played (I'm sure you were there) where Jake told...
...this little story

That was the after-the-fact comment about our invention, but the UBR Shaker has inspired some enjoyable comedy during a few of our recording adventures:

Living Low sessions

And don't forget here:

last part of demo for unreleased Jakesong I'll Mend It

And I won't swear to it, but I think something rice-related hides in the beginning of this song as if it were a bowl of rice to hide in:

first part of demo for It Matters

Is it just me, or is that some good eatin'?

Move alone, move along...

noreply@blogger.com (b) — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 20:33:00 +0000

I'm happy to report that, yes, we can let the PJ thing die already.

It was the sine-wave graph, Jake. When I saw it, I realized I was dealing with a man who had nothing left to lose.

On a completely different note, I dug up a picture of a couple of studs from back in the day. The archives are brimming with this kind of stuff.

Facial expressions courtesy of Pearl Jam debate participation

can't we just let the PJ thing die, already?

noreply@blogger.com (jschwab11) — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 17:46:00 +0000

So I guess I have to come back to this now.

let's address the bullets with bullets:

Not including Ten, the band has cut 8 studio albums. I can't name a single band who has made 8 albums that are worth listening to front to back.

ok...it's cheating, but I pull the Beatles card. But really, I can't think of any others. However, the point was that for me, the last 5 studio albums are 100% unlistenable for me. Since albums 2 & 3 I'll say were only 50% and 25% listenable respectively, that means that of all the studio material, I can only listen to about 22% of PJ's material. Compare that to any band where you like 3 songs per album, and its a higher percentage.

If the band had hypothetically decided to remain pop-friendly and tried to make Ten-like albums over and over again, we'd all be criticizing them for repeating themselves.

You're probably right, but we'll never know because they are completely incapable of reproducing that magic.

I can't name a single band who is more exciting, relevant and talented after 17 years of existence than they were in the early days.

dude...PJ, relevant? I'll ignore that for now. However one thing to think about is what they have put out over that 17 years. if you want to talk about pure stature over time: Beatles, Stones, Zeppelin, (I hate to say it) U2, Elvis, Metallica, RHCP, Beck, Radiohead, Weezer, Tool, Sting/the Police, the Doors...they all fit in that category.
If you want to look at an average of albums per time around...as in about one album every 2 years where I enjoy the majority of the work, then look to Ben Folds & Ben Folds Five, Letters to Cleo, STP, Jars of Clay, Alice In Chains, Counting Crows, Duncan Sheik, Cake, Jimmy Eat World, etc.
I know you probably don't care for a lot of that...but its about me now.

The Ticketmaster thing was incredibly well-intentioned. Some (or a lot, depending...) of their ideas may be stupid or fail to materialize, but the boys in PJ have supplied a lot of evidence that they're genuinely good guys who want to to do "the right thing" by their fans.

I know a lot of genuinely good people. It doesn't make them good musicians.

Even my favorite artists cannot put out 100% enjoyable albums time and time again. One of my favorites, Duncan Sheik, I will honestly say that of the 5 studio albums he has released over 10 years, there are 2 i listen to straight through, 2 that I listen to about 50-60% of, and one I listen to 1 or 2 tracks only. (so about 66% is listenable to me). But to argue a different point on this one, I think Daylight was his best (and fourth-released) album, followed by Humming (2nd released). His albums follow a sine-wave pattern of listenability for me (For points 0, pi/2, 3pi/2, 5pi/2). [there's the geek in me coming back out].

STP: again, 5 albums in 9 years (not including Thank You), Core & purple get 100% played, Tiny Music gets 85% played, No.4 & Shangri... get about 50%. (so here about 77% is listenable to me). Here, a steady drop off of listenability for me.

My point was this, if I lose enough interest in an artist and they fail to produce music I like, I don't listen to them anymore. Will Pearl Jam stand the test of time...probably...but if it weren't for ten, we would look at them the way we do cracker or the toadies now...a few hit songs and then just gone. The 90's gave us so many few-hit wonders that I'm amazed this many remained popular after.

I know Brian and I will never fully agree on Pearl Jam...but we do agree that they weren't the best band ever. For now, I'll take what I can get.

Pearl Jam = Fish Being Shot While Swimming In A Barrel

noreply@blogger.com (b) — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 12:30:00 +0000

Since Jake's a full-time student, he'll appreciate this metaphor: you get an "A" for Consistency of Opinion!

It's my contention that we agree more than we disagree when it comes to PJ (and in general, too). For example:

Does at least half of each post-Ten album fall flat? Yes.
Has the band been guilty of being, musically and vocally, too experimental for their own good? Yes.
Do I think they're as exciting, relevant, and talented as they were during the Ten days? No.
Did the Ticketmaster thing leave a sour taste in everybody's mouth? Yes.

That being said, I can also say this:

Not including Ten, the band has cut 8 studio albums. I can't name a single band who has made 8 albums that are worth listening to front to back.
If the band had hypothetically decided to remain pop-friendly and tried to make Ten-like albums over and over again, we'd all be criticizing them for repeating themselves.
I can't name a single band who is more exciting, relevant and talented after 17 years of existence than they were in the early days.
The Ticketmaster thing was incredibly well-intentioned. Some (or a lot, depending...) of their ideas may be stupid or fail to materialize, but the boys in PJ have supplied a lot of evidence that they're genuinely good guys who want to to do "the right thing" by their fans.

Trying to say that modern PJ sucks compared to old PJ is like saying being old sucks compared to being young. Of course it does - but you take what you can get, and being old is better than the alternative. For me, a working PJ is better than not, because one day they just might turn in Ten, Part Deux, and that would be worth all the goofiness in between. Stranger things have happened.

But even if that never happens, it's clear I have a soft spot for them. They're a living reminder of a time and a wealth of feelings that are long-gone. No doubt, the story of the band is getting frail with age. The pages are worn and dog-eared, the cover is stained, the binding is coming loose...but the book still reads, my friend.

The book still reads.

PJ...my take

noreply@blogger.com (jschwab11) — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 00:11:00 +0000

So yes...my feelings on PJ are accurate as portrayed by Brian. There's really nothing I can add to this.

I loved ten...its still one of my favorite albums ever. After that there was a steady decline until I think it was no code where I just washed my hands of Pearl Jam and gave up any hope that I would ever again hear music from them that didn't sound like either a drunken pirate song or scream therapy.

In the 9 major albums released since 1991, even by allmusic's ratings, only ten received a 5/5. Did I enjoy the radio singles...of course I did. Even the vs. singles "daughter" and "feminine septuagenarian in back of a horizontal surface in an unfamiliar suburban setting," or something like that. But even with my quick procurement of the new album (at the time), I knew from go...both figuratively and literally (as go is the 1st track) that I wouldn't love it the way I did ten. Are there valid excuses...sure. It doesn't make me like PJ any more because of it.

Ah...and then there was Vitalogy. From the first listen to the album, I liked both tracks with "man" in the title...and not much else. I mean really...spin the black circle?!? how about, "play it on vinyl because it sounds better, or at least it sounds better to say that it does because I'm not that drunk, where's my surfboard, and by surfboard, I mean vodka?" I was losing hope, and the sheep listening to their radios at home kept loving it all because that's what the radio stations told them to do...and the indie fight against ticketmaster, maaaaaaaaannn. All the self-righteous kids at home found the perfect rebellion of sticking it to big business and giving money back to the band...(mind you, this was before napster when the winds of change blew the other way, yet again).

Then came no code. I looked at the track listing for this album for 15 minutes and could not remember how any of the songs went. The vocals sounded like he was holding a vibrator to his throat or his jaw was just wired shut. It was at this point that I had to just cut my losses and give up on their future for me.

If you like them, hey that's great, but don't you dare tell me they were the most prophetic band of our time, or the best band since '90. I honestly believe I enjoy more of Britney's catalog than Pearl Jam's.

...but like I said...I f-ing LOVE ten.

Man, I really like Pearl Jam. Still.

noreply@blogger.com (b) — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 20:52:00 +0000

Ya know why? Because they can infuse a song - even acoustic-based material - with such bombast, like THIS(!):

"State of Love And Trust" - MTV Unplugged, 1992

"Immortality" - Benaroya Hall, 2003

...and then break it all down to Mellow Town, like THIS(!):

"Footsteps"

"Dead Man"

Just wanted to say that.

Shutting up about Pearl Jam now.

The Great Pearl Jam Debate

noreply@blogger.com (b) — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 15:59:00 +0000

Jake and I have this thing where we argue about Pearl Jam. There's been a long-standing dispute about the merits of the band's "glory-days" output (which, for him, means Ten) compared to everything thereafter, and the previous DMB post got us both back on-topic.

There's one thing we can agree on: you can't deny the power of early-90's PJ, beautifully exemplified by "Once" - the first track off the debut album. Here's the 2004 Brendan O'Brien remix; take a listen:

Allright, so that song is awesome. But, according to Jake, only about half of Vs. was any good, maybe a third of Vitalogy, and...zip. Done. PJ effectively ceased to exist as a working band for him.

Wait a second: you're immune to the unrestrained musical exuberance of "In My Tree"?

The soaring power-pop-punk of "Leatherman?"

"Cropduster"? The best song Neil Young never wrote!?

The hauntingly moving, Matt Cameron-penned "You Are", even?

I could cite more examples, but if you're not sold already, it ain't gonna happen.

PJ may not be as consistent or radio-friendly these days as they once were, but that doesn't mean you can't cherry-pick something worthwhile off each album they've ever done.

(A side-note on the "radio-friendly" thing: PJ are frequently criticized for deliberately "sabotaging" their musical careers by making Vs. so much less populist than Ten. According to my research, this is almost directly attributed to the fact that a lunatic fan stalked Vedder to the degree that she ended up driving her car through his house. I'd be a liar if I told you that my reaction to the whole fame thing wouldn't have been at least similar to his, if not identical. In a situation like that, fame must have felt like an incredible burden of vulnerability.)

Feel free to weigh in on this, people...

"Anyone? Anyone?"

Oh yeah, man - I almost forgot. Here's some critical validation for one of your perhaps-not-so-guilty musical pleasures...

Reflections on DMB

noreply@blogger.com (b) — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 13:02:00 +0000

Heard some late-model DMB last night, which got me to thinking: "Now there's a band past its prime."

Just think about it - remember when Under The Table And Dreaming came out, and you're like, "this is IT! THIS is the music I've been waiting to hear!" I can still remember with vivid clarity the unbelievable freshness of that album, its shimmering beauty. The sound, the vibe, the mood was utterly without peer in the popular music spectrum of 1994.

Then, you had Crash in '96, which, while having a few missteps, was still a pretty solid album. 1999's Live at Luther College (recorded in '96) further cemented the legend while showcasing a whole new side of Dave's music; the all-acoustic presentation boasted an eerie musical telepathy between Matthews and Tim Reynolds, a guy who should've been an official, full-time bandmember from day one.

Unfortunately, Before These Crowded Streets signalled the beginning of the end. Lots of un-DMB material - combined with a general sense of wankery - began to reveal cracks in the seams of the band's greatness.

With a few exceptions, pretty much everything the group has done since '98 has disappointed me. In fact, it takes some effort to remember the way the music used to make me feel; I'm stuck with a pair of jaded, can't-go-back-there ears. Auditory virginity is just as impossible to reclaim as the carnal kind; would that it weren't so...

Since I'm one to be helpful, I'll suggest a bunch of stuff Dave couldn't possibly do:

1) Find a way to get Reynolds permanently onboard in the early 90's.
2) Realize that you're a songwriter / rhythm guitarist, not a singer - get somebody else on vocals.
3) Fire the freaking horns guy; this ain't no jazz bar, nor are you running a ska band. (Hey Lillywhite, can we get an alternate mix of "Two Step"? Maybe one without the tuba!?)

With this sterling advice, a Dave Matthews in an alternate universe might make it to 2008 without sucking wind.

Checklist

noreply@blogger.com (b) — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 17:54:00 +0000

What I did this weekend: moved
Things I'm really good at: sending thinner friends into residential crawlspaces to turn off water valves, but helping friends crawl OUT of crawlspaces afterwards; driving large trucks
What the weather was like while loading/unloading: sucky/rainy/time-travel to Victorian England
Moving completion status: incomplete
Status of Robertson Sanitation attempting to empty my overloaded trash receptacle, breaking it, and leaving it for me to disperse the contents into numerous smaller bags: complete
Status of much-needed credit card's arrival: to be determined
Status of expressing a giant "meh" about this whole moving thing: complete
Status of Jake reading over selected Craigslist ads for bassists before I start selling them on The Burn: incomplete with a bullet - yowza!

Blame Canada

noreply@blogger.com (b) — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 20:38:00 +0000

A Canadian customer was calling to find out if there was a faster way to trigger menu commands than mousing up to the menus.

Agent: Certainly, sir. There are keyboard shortcuts for many of those commands. For example, suppose you want to trigger the Select All command…

Caller: Yes, I use that one all the time! How do I do it?

Agent: Well, you just press Control-A.

Caller (after a pause): Well, that’s not working for me.

Agent: Do you have a text document open in front of you?

Caller: Yes, I sure do.

Agent: OK, now press Control-A.

Caller: I am, but nothing happens.

Agent: The text isn’t highlighted?

Caller: No, there’s no change at all.

Agent: That’s odd. If you press Control-A, the whole document should be highlighted. Try it again. Press Control-A. Tell me exactly what’s happening.

Caller (nearing his Canadian breaking point): Listen. I’m pressing Control, eh? And nothing’s happening, eh?

Michael smokin'-Crackson

noreply@blogger.com (b) — Sat, 01 Mar 2008 04:23:00 +0000

Michael Jackson has been missing payments on his parents' house in L.A., as well as Neverland.

Translation: Jackson finances his properties.

How (oh how) do you earn $500 million dollars in your lifetime, and still end up FINANCING a PROPERTY? Dude's been living at Neverland since the 80's(!) and the place still isn't paid off. (And yet, that Martin Bashir cat watched him drop six mil on a few urns and paintings. He spent that in about 10 minutes.)

MJ, you are a head-scratcher and a brow-raiser. I daresay you're a jaw-dropper, even.

Music, as transferred through your phone line

noreply@blogger.com (b) — Fri, 22 Feb 2008 18:32:00 +0000

As you can see over there on the right, I added a futuristic musical playback widget to the sidebar. Now I feel (and am considering dressing) like this guy:

You may have to wait a second or two for the songs to load (and you'll notice that autoplay is kindly set to the "off" position), but the sound quality is so much better than, for example, the Myspace player.

A Day To Remember

noreply@blogger.com (b) — Tue, 29 Jan 2008 04:35:00 +0000

I have good news and bad news.

The bad news is really bad, and the good news is really good.

Bad news first: my dad, whom I love very much despite our emotionally attenuated interactions, has been diagnosed with cancer. The prognosis is fair; he's scheduled to receive a pre-operative course of radiation and chemotherapy, followed by a surgery and possibly more chemo after that. The surgeon says his condition is currently "manageable", but things certainly do not look stellar by any means. If you're of the praying kind, please say one for my pops; he's got a lot to live for and we're not ready to see him go. It breaks my heart to see my dad in fear for his life. I hope to God he can get through this...

Mere hours after consulting with the surgeon today (and whilst feeling like a man in a deep funk), I received a phone call that I've been waiting more than ten years to receive.

Last week, I sent 3 demos to a man that I contacted out of the proverbial "clear blue sky" about a month ago. That man's name is Marvin Etzioni.

Marvin Etzioni is a multi-instrumentalist and record producer. He's produced albums for "roots"-type artists such as Victoria Williams, Grey DeLisle, Peter Case and Tom Freund. He produced the track "Miller's Angels" on Recovering The Satellites, cut by a little band called Counting Crows. You may have heard of them before. Marvin has even played mandolin on some of the Dixie Chicks' material.

Most importantly (to me), Marvin produced a song called "Brother" and the album Pale, both early gems from my favorite band of all time, Toad the Wet Sprocket.

Marvin Freaking Etzioni heard our demos and said he'd love to make a record with us.

I could go on, but I won't. I will savor this moment of validation and preserve the details for myself and those in my Circle of Trust. This day has taken everything I had to give, but I will never forget it as long as I can rub two brain cells together.

Podge of Hodge

noreply@blogger.com (b) — Thu, 24 Jan 2008 14:14:00 +0000

1) Agreeing with Jake on the Fatty Tax idea. Now...does Jake agree with me on the Fairtax idea?

2) Because I live in Metro Atlanta and have only a radio and a broken tape deck in my car, I listen to 88.5 FM, which is a non-commercial radio station run by students at Georgia State University. I've discovered a lot of exquisite new music there, and the station generally just beats the piss out of 99X and Project 96.1 (or whatever they call it now) when it comes to playlist diversity and quality.

That being said, a lot of the DJs on 88.5 suck and should get out of the "biz." Yes, I know they're college students and not professionals. Yes, I know they don't get paid for it. The thing is, some of them are quite good - they have a passion for it and inject personality into the experience, making it fun and clever for everybody involved. This makes it all the more irritating when the lackluster DJs are on-air. I'm not asking to hear Radio Guy, but neither do I want to hear the pre-medicated cast of Awakenings.

I heard a chap this morning reading a "concert calendar" as if he were reciting tax code to a group of IRS trainees. Then, to make matters worse, he told me I could hear Performer X at "Smith's Oldie Bar."

Dude, it's "Smith's Olde Bar." Pronounced "old."

If you:

A) think the word "olde" has anything to do with 50's-era rock and you are in college, you should consider dropping out, and

B) have so little knowledge of prominent music venues in your area that you could commit such a blunder, perhaps you should reconsider the rationale of DJ-ing a hipness-defining college radio station. (Question: "Is taking part in WRAS a required course or something?" Answer: "No. It's not even a recommended course.")

3) I'm sneaking this in here at the end as a little joke to myself, regarding all the times I've talked about big posts. So if you're still reading, the joke's on both of us.

We are in the VERY early stages (can't emphasize that enough) of finding a professional producer to help us develop a new recording project. We have a couple of people in "talks" and we'll let you know if and when a direction is chosen. I just wanted to tell you that we still write, still want to be a "real" band, and still want to give you something cool to spin as you get fat and old like us. The time is right for us to take the next step and ~~consider thinking about preparing to possibly~~ make a record we can be proud of ~~maybe~~.

We'll keep you posted.

Stop crying about second-hand smoke and put down the cheeseburger, fatty!

noreply@blogger.com (jschwab11) — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 20:30:00 +0000

I would like to take a moment to address an issue I have with the taxes imposed on cigarettes, and because our number is dwindling, a resource where the government can make a few bucks to make this a healthier place.

I had to propose an amendment to the constitution for my poli-sci class and here's what I got:

PREFACE:
The federal and state governments tax cigarettes and alcohol and use the tax money to fund things ranging from healthcare to education to road improvements. In recent years, the tax on cigarettes has skyrocketed and states have banned the act of smoking in public establishments to varying degrees. The tax on a pack of cigarettes ranges from 17 cents per pack to $2.575 per pack (the US median is 80 cents per pack).
In 2005 the US department of the treasury, alcohol & tobacco tax and trade bureau collected $8.9billion in alcohol excise tax revenues.
Obesity has become the number one health problem in the US causing more annual deaths than smoking, yet there is still a fast food chain on every corner, contributing to the demise of the public health without paying into the debt it causes.

Proposed Amendment:
With the concern for public health and wellbeing at the forefront of the nation's vitality, The federal government shall impose a tax of no more than 3%, and state governments shall impose a tax of no more than 2% on fast food transactions in an effort to pay into the healthcare system to offset the debt caused by obesity related health problems as it remains the leading cause of death. The federal government shall impose a tax of no more than 2.5%, and state governments shall impose a tax of no more than 1.5% on fast food transactions during times obesity related health problems are no longer the leading cause of death.

The federal government is permitted to use the revenues generated from this tax for the purposes of medicinal research, healthcare, fitness programs, and nutrition awareness. The state government is permitted to use the revenues generated from this tax for the purposes of non-entertainment hospital accommodations and instruments for obese and morbidly obese patients and school and local sports/fitness programs.

Fast food is hereby defined as foods designed for ready availability, use or consumption and sold at eating establishments for quick availability or take-out.

In addition, no state or federal facility shall have the authority to place restrictions on the sale of fast food above and beyond local zoning laws, nor shall they have the authority to restrict the consumption of fast food in areas where the consumption of any food is permitted.

I could be even snobbier than I am now

noreply@blogger.com (b) — Fri, 28 Dec 2007 22:07:00 +0000

For about 2 weeks, I considered starting a vinyl collection.

I decided against it because I have reason to believe that 1-bit digital recording technology has the potential to finally live up to the "digital promise" we've been hearing for the last twenty years. (That promise being that digital can offer the undeniable warmth of analog while not being limited by the unavoidable mechanical degradation of analog.)

I'm really uncomfortable with the idea of the sonic fidelity of my music getting slightly cruddier with each playback, although I suppose there's a morbidly romantic aspect about that process that some would find pleasant. Hmm.

As far as recording goes, I'm seriously trying to figure out a way to record to 2-inch tape. Either that, or track to 1-bit and mix-down into something else just so I could archive the 1-bit stuff. I bet printing out to 2-inch for the mix with a final output to LP would sound like butter. (I think the 16-bit recordings we worked with for Fall Back sound like complete butthole, which wasn't helped by our crappy mics/pre's and lackluster performances.)

Digital sound is not all it's cracked up to be, despite the fact that it's convenient as heck with its non-destructibility and budget friendliness. Unfortunately, good music is really about good sound - as opposed to good pricing - and I think that people react on an emotional level to good sound. This reaction may not even take place in the conscious mind, but it could be the difference between liking something and just tolerating it. I know 99.9% of the people who would ever hear the music I make would hear the 16-bit version of it instead of a higher-res digital version (like 24-bit SACD) or LP, but...it'd be nice to know it's out there for the folks who appreciate that sort of thing - folks like me.

*sigh* And for the record, sometimes I hate myself.

The next post will be huge.

Straight from the Onion's A/V Club...

noreply@blogger.com (b) — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 19:29:00 +0000

...I present to you a really clever choral performance. Surprises and key changes abound!

Generous hands, or leaky pockets?

noreply@blogger.com (b) — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 20:10:00 +0000

Chatted with J-Merm on a number of subjects today, one of them being Ron Paul and the fact that his media presence has virtually none of the penetration of the "major" candidates. That being said, Josh mentioned seeing some coverage of Barack ~~taking a dump on the principles of the Founders~~ shooting hoops for about 10 minutes. So, there's that.

Tying into another discussion about Africa and wondering how many *insert random noun*-Aid tribute CDs it will take to get those folks fed (I guess Sally Struthers keeps eating it all), I wondered aloud about the reasoning behind our so-called foreign-aid obligations.

Philosophically, what's the justification for foreign aid? Humanitarianism? What, aren't there enough "underprivileged" citizens Stateside? Sound-bite viability? As a voter, I'm much more inclined to care about getting domestic problems solved than I am international. Liberal credibility? Ah; that's probably it.

I cannot figure out why it makes sense to drain billions of dollars into 3rd-world countries - just to see it get misappropriated by local thugs - when our currency is devalued every day in the global economy because of our mind-blowing national debt.

One of Ron Paul's core directives is fiscal responsibility; fixing our economic problems would pretty much...fix our problems. As a country. Done. Instead, we're inundated with insidious plans for more spending, more bureaucracy, more expansion, more debt, more obligation...

I guess the best I can hope for is to have fiscal responsibility in my home, no matter what economic direction my country takes.

Al Sharpton is a bag of dirty diapers

noreply@blogger.com (b) — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 15:15:00 +0000

Tons of stuff has happened since our last post, including new babies for the both of us (I'll try to post some pics soon).

But this, friends. THIS. From a CNN article about Imus:

"Just three months after he was fired, the Rev. Al Sharpton, one of the strongest voices calling for his firing, said Imus had a right to make a living and could return to radio. Sharpton planned a news conference later Monday."

Well thank Heavens for that, Mr. Imus; Mr. Sharpton has allowed you to return to radio.

Al Sharpton, you're a pompous choad. I couldn't care less about your opinions on any subject, sir, because you make your living off stirring up and perpetuating discord.

I reject your self-declared cultural authority, Revrund. In fact, here's a little analogy for the SAT crowd: Al Sharpton is to cultural advancement like Dick Cheney is to quail-hunting buddies and/or cardiovascular health.

Lights...camera...tomfoolery

noreply@blogger.com (b) — Wed, 19 Sep 2007 21:13:00 +0000

As you know, Jake and I have worked together a couple of times over the years. Here's some footage of us testing wireless microphones and cameras during our last gig.

Let it go.

noreply@blogger.com (b) — Tue, 11 Sep 2007 13:59:00 +0000

Stop the teary-eyed, televised memorials.

Stop being a victim.

Stop asking "why?".

Stop fueling the notion that any random aggressor has the ability, the power, to permanently affect the American spirit.

Stop scratching at the scar.

Let it go.

The comments at the bottom of this article reveal exactly why we're such a tempting target for crazies; it's crystal clear to even the most casual observer that the average American is a maudlin mess who will freely hand the most nefarious villain complete control of their emotional constitution.

With all the flag-waving and soggy handkerchiefs that we insist on publicizing, we may as well print a global invitation that reads a little something like this:

Attention!

If you attack us, we will act like the wuss at the playground who cries when you taunt him! We will constantly try to convince anyone who will listen that we are SAD! SO SAD!

Please! Give us your pity, for we are a society of miserable, victimized whelps!

We refuse to stand in defiance of your attack when it's so easy to call attention to our loss and our pain, ad nauseum!

America can be what it was pre-9/11, if you want that. All you have to do to realize this goal is publicly act as if 9/11 never happened.

I understand there is pain. I understand there is horror. I also understand that our grief as Americans should be a private act of reflection, not a freaking parade float.

You know, Japan didn't become the post-WWII industrial titan they are now by soliciting pity. They cut their losses (which were immeasurably worse than 9/11) and decided it was better to get their act together and be an international contender rather than play the pity card.

It was six years ago, people. Stand up and take some pride in our strength instead of our hurt.

The new Smashing Pumpkins album...

noreply@blogger.com (b) — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 20:35:00 +0000

...is actually pretty listenable. I'm four tracks in, and I'm not coughing and spluttering or anything.

It sounds the same as it did in '96, but it feels different; that might be because I have an adult brain in my skull now.

Don't be afraid to spin it, especially if you were put off by MACHINA. Good job, Billy and Jimmy. Melodic, sprawling guitars and spacious, underrated drumming as usual.

Dreaming out loud

noreply@blogger.com (b) — Thu, 30 Aug 2007 12:15:00 +0000

I was driving around in North Georgia, in places I've been all my life. (Of course, everything had that derailed difference about it that makes it feel like an alternate universe version of what you're familiar with. I really enjoy that quality of dreams.)

I drove past this house that was so large and tall, it could've been a hotel, except that it was made of wood and was very badly deteriorated. It was crumbling far past the point of condemnation for any real building, such that it was barely standing. It must have been thirty stories high - at least - so this was a feat of gravity defiance.

I decided after turning the bend that I needed to get some pictures of this crazy house so I could use them in some capacity for the band. After returning, I parked my car and crunched along a narrow gravel driveway with this unbelievably tall wreck of a house hulking over me, blocking out the sun.

I was intending to snap a few shots and get out of there, but there were lots of windows in the lower floors, and the owners saw what I was doing. I waved to them, they waved back, and came outside. I explained my reasons for being there, and they told me to take all the pictures I wanted. As they walked back inside and I tried to do just that, some fiendish animal runs out their door and attacks me.

I don't remember the rest, but I'm always dreaming about oddly located buildings with strange architecture, or bizarre versions of natural settings. Gigantic 18th century mansions embedded in limestone cliff walls, dilapidated cottages sitting on top of buttes so steep you'd have to use a helicopter to live there, subterranean caverns, open-air marketplaces beside jungle rivers infested with 200-foot snakes, abandandoned train depots, museums, ice rinks and amusement parks, beaches overflowing with living and rotting sea monsters as far as the eye can see, mega-tornadoes that fling you into space, beautiful mountains that are incredibly easy to fall off of...

Most of my dreams take place in a dead or dying world. Things are never very "normal." There are a few exceptions - like a painfully bright, future-version of New York you can fly through in air-taxis - but they're unusual.

My dream-self often feels alien and out of place, yet simultaneously expecting to find himself in these places and situations. I never stand around in my dreams questioning the oddness of where I'm at or what I'm doing; I'm too busy falling in love with the weirdness of it all. It's such a drastic departure from waking life that I can't help but enjoy it, as if the experiences were the world's most immersive video game.